autumn: as the leaves turn

"For me the most accurate comment on motherhood is that it makes your life twice as bad and twice as good. There is suffering and unsatisfactoriness, but love saves us."
                                                Sarah Napthali Buddhim for Mothers


Autumn has well and truly set in around here and it's not only the positive side of this glorious season that we are experiencing at the moment. Colds and aches have set in.

My six month old baby Tess is back to cat napping throughout the day and wanting to be fed every two hours during the day, three hours at night. Poor little thing is struggling, but then so is her  mother trying to give her everything she needs whilst still have reserves left over for the other three members of the family (not to mention herself :)

Recently we found out that my (soon to be three year old) daughter needs to have her tonsils and adenoids removed. 'Enormous' was how the specialist termed them. When I spoke with my sister-in-law about this, whose own son underwent the same operation many moons ago, she warned me of the way little eyes roll back in their heads and mouths drop open as they go under the anaesthetic. This image was almost enough to have me running to the phone to cancel the operation. Then I remembered the infections and the constant courses of antibiotics that have wracked my poor daughter's body this year alone. I only recently found out when we saw the Eand T specialist the function of the adenoids and tonsils. Apparently they are part of our immune system but when they are 'enormous' as Gaby's are then they become a burden on the immune system. Which is why her body has been unable to fight off the constant infections. So in the long run I know this operation will be the best thing for her. Doesn't mean I don't wish it wasn't necessary. For a child that suffers almost constantly from an internal itch (not to mention the allergies that we do know she has - egg, dairy and peanut) I would do almost anything to alleviate her pain and make her comfortable. I don't know if this operation will help with her scratching but I hope it will. I visited the health food shop and found some immune-boosting tonic (in the form of a German-made juice concoction) for the kids and some echinacea immune boosting vitamins for myself and the Captain. We may be a bit late but I figure it's still worth a try.

Yesterday after a tanturm that involved some serious screaming and body throwing insisitng that she wasn't tired, Gaby then went on to sleep for more than two hours. Bed time was barely affected by this as I am sure we are all suffering from near exhaustion.

Our citrus trees are starting to fruit but they are still quite green. I can't wait for the lemons to ripen as I am in dire need of honey and lemon teas at the moment. My own throat is raw and scratchy, my neck is stiff and sore and the fact that I spend half the night falling asleep in the rocking chair nursing my baby doesn't seem to help.

This first term of school has certainly been a trying one for us all. For a family that had very little in the way of daily stresses we are now tiring under the pressure of getting everyone up and out everyday. And as much as I want to lament those lost days of being at home all day everyday I have to remember that this is simply a new stage, one that is good but that just needs some getting used to. I have lots of time with Gaby throughout the day, learning about her and what she likes to do without being under Nico's shadow. Nico is starting to show signs of missing me, missing our time together as the novelty of kindergarten is starting to wear off.  I make sure we have time for special catch up's each day - practising letters, reading library books from school, colouring in, or reading Enid Blyton's enchanting The Enchanted Wood before bed. There are cuddles and despite the weariness I am constantly reminding myself to smile.

"It also helps enormously to smile as often as possible, especially when you catch yourself worrying." Sarah Napthali, Buddhism for Mothers. For me it's not just when I'm worrying; I make a conscious effort to smile when I'm angry, irritated, frustrated or impatient. Sometimes I manage a big Cheshire-cat grin, others it's merely a Mona-Lisa type smirk. Either seem to help with my overall mood in the moment.

 

 

Autumn brings with it,however, other wonders - a time of staying indoors, preparing for the winter season so to speak. Nico with his love of animals is constantly asking which animals like this sort of weather. We discuss animals such as squirrels and rabbits, bilbies and bandicoots, small marsupials that like to collect their food before the cold sets in. Then we talk about America and Europe where they have such cold winters that no food is to be found on the ground. In the kitchen we make nourishing food like pumpkin soup, roast lamb and Anzac biscuits. The end of the heat of summer heralds a wonderful time of cooking in our house and it is something that I am starting to enjoy more now with Gaby, now that Nico is at school everyday. Just another change in the circle of life. 

So, yes, there is suffering and unsatisfactoriness, especially when illness sets in, but there is still a lot of love and everyday my children teach me more and more about love than I ever thought possible and that is most surely a blessing.

Note: the first two flower photos are taken by lovely sister-in-law.

Health Warning

I didn't really know what to call this article without it sounding dramatic, so I went with the most dramatic one!
Anyway we stumbled across this website when we doing some research on our daughter's food allergies and intolerances. Although we have been quite vigilant (for the most part) on keeping her food free from dairy, egg and peanut she is still scratching a lot on her back and legs. So we were just looking at the ingredients on some things trying to guess what it could be.

Most of our food is fairly healthy but we were surprised to discover these ingredients, the additives 627 and 635, which occur in lots of different foods like instant noodles, flavoured chips, CCs, party pies, sausage rolls, packet or canned soups and more. You can see the whole list here at the website that we found:
www.fedup.com.auhttp://fedup.com.au/factsheets/additive-and-natural-chemical-factsheets/635-ribo-rash-ribonucleotides-627-631

I know there are a lot of people out there who try really hard to give the best to their children and yet still can't understand their health or behavioural problems - maybe this can help. If you're interested read the article and maybe check out some of the other things that the Failsafe people talk about like salicylates and amines.
There are lots of testimonial, indeed most of the evidence on the site is anecdotal, but if you're at your wits end or if you just can't bear to see your child scratching anymore it might be worth it.

Like I said, we didn't have much food with the additives 635 or 627 but what we did have (some rice crackers and some stock) we tossed. But I think I might try my daughter on the salicylates elimination diet as she eats tons of fruit, especially berries, mandarins and bananas.

Anyway, if you're interested have a read. If you're not, forgetaboutit!!

Catarrh and Fievre

Well, it's official. The "cold" that I have been battling for the past two weeks is officially the flu. How do I know this? Because I ache. All over. And my throat still hurts. And I sound like a dog when I cough.
And to top it all off, as if the mucous that was oozing from my nose and throat wasn't enough, it's now coming from my eyes too!
That's right folks.
I have conjunctivitis.
An illness I haven't had since I was a child. But instead of making me feel nostalgic for the lost days of yesteryear, it makes me feel sad.
And itchy.
And goopy.
The only good thing is that the four bright eyes that grace my babies' faces are blissfully free of such goop and gunge that are now characterising my own.

I'm off to the doctor this afternoon so that I can get a medical certificate so that the Captain can stay home and look after me. I think I'll ask for it to say that I have catarrh. It sounds so much more exotic than the flu, don't you think? I wonder if my doctor will also draw a little skull...just for effect.



The kids and I caught up with my mother's group on Friday (before the catarrh had fully formed and the pus started leaking from my eyes) and one of the ladies there, who has just had her second baby asked me in all incredulity: "How do you do it at home every day with the two kids?"
And my answer was relatively simple. It was how we had always done it. Unlike her daughter who has just finished her child care and is now at home fulltime, my son has always been at home with me and has learnt how to entertain himself and thankfully, does not mind a number of days at home in a row. I understood from my friend, that her daughter doesn't like this one bit.
Today though I have to tell you, I fell so crappy that a child care service would be just great. As it is, we have Thomas the Tank Engine on DVD. Four hours of it.


I think I might also ask my doctor for the medical certificate to say fievre - much more exciting than a plain old fever. I wonder if there is an olde-timey way of saying conjunctivitis? Goop eye? Sticky eye? Custard eye? (Sorry for those of you who like custard, but it's really what the stuff coming out of my eye looks like).

Anyway, I hope you're all well and surviving the cold winds that are characteristic of this time of year. I'm sure if we lived on the moors like Cathy and Heathcliff (more on them later) then it would be romantic. As it is, we don't.
And so it's not.
It's cold.
And annoying.

Love always,
The Neurophile x