What are you going to do?

Yesterday was the last day of the winter holidays, which means that as of today I am officially on leave from my teaching job. I have a wonderful replacement teacher who I have the utmost faith in to carry on with my classes during my leave, so I don't even have to worry about that aspect of my life at all. It is very liberating. These were the first school holidays where I haven't had to think about planning, reflecting on what went well the previous term/year, and assessment reviews. I loved every minute of them. We whiled away the hours playing Banagrams, cooking, gardening, reading and whatever else took our fancy. 

With the current COVID-19 pandemic and the rising cases across Victoria and NSW I am anticipating that we may go back into a lockdown where school is via remote learning. I am so glad that I am at home if my own children need to learn from home, without the added stress of planning my own classes and working with students who are completing year 11 and 12 this year.

                                                                     

I have been asked the question "What are you going to do?" many times since I announced my plans to take leave earlier this year (actually before we went into the first lockdown). Some of these question have been asked in an incredulous tone, which to my ears sounds like "How are you going to survive?" Some have been followed up with suggestions - "Travel? Renovate? Study?" Those who know me very well probably know that I already do a lot of study anyway - I am constantly learning, reading and researching things that take my fancy. Not in a formal 'institution' way, but just a "I want to learn about [insert random topic here ] today" way. I love studying new things, new perspectives on history and historical events, and I especially love taking notes. I have notebooks full of notes (both in paper and in numerous folders on my computer) which I love to read over and add to. I missed my calling as a research assistant, I think.

However, the real reason for my leave isn't one that I have shared very often. It's not very "modern" I suppose, to want to take leave so that I can stay at home. That's all. Just to be at home. To cook, clean, bake and potter around the garden as much as I like.

I have always loved reading Homemaking books and blogs, but for a long time I had to stop because I would get so sad about going to work. Teaching isn't a job that one can commit to "half-heartedly". It is a vocation, and for the last twelve years (since the children were born), my vocation has called me to be at home. So I have gone to work and been committed to my students but my heart has yearned to be at home, 'feathering my nest,' so to speak. 

Not many people like to hear this reason when I answer that question - "What are you going to do?" They are quick to tell me how dull they would find it, or how they could never do something like this. That's okay - I'm not asking them to :)

My sister, a lovely, sympathetic colleague at work (who has become a close friend in the last year) and another close friend are the few people, I think, who have understood my reason to stay at home, just to stay at home. I have no regrets about taking this leave, and refuse to dwell on the fact that next year I will probably have to return to my job. I am looking forward to this time just to do what I need to do to bless my home and my family. 

After the rain...

There comes the sun...

7 Quick Takes

1. Spring has sprung!

Finally the spring holidays have arrived and we're even having decent weather! We have spent a lot of time out in the garden of course, planning patios and garden beds and just enjoying the arrival of colour once more. This is one of my favourite things about living in Canberra, and also one of my least favourite - the very distinct change in seasons!

2. Wounds are healing.

The big bloody gash on Tess's head has scarred over nicely and it is mostly hidden by her hair which is a good thing.
I'm still contributing to my physio's down payment on an apartment by going there every week. Work on back and shoulder is slow. The tailbone recover is also slow go but there is definite improvement there (after six months!)

3. Birthdays abound.

We celebrated Tess's second birthday today at the park by the lake. Good friends and grandparents made an appearance which made it an extra special day. We love that girl!! Although she doesn't always make it easy, I'm sure there must have been at least ten tantrums today. terrible twos! eh?? 
Heading to Wollongong on Saturday to catch up with the family for more birthday fun.

4. Puzzle.

Now that I finally have my study back (two big kids are sharing a room again) I've been looking at
my patiently waiting pile of puzzles and feeling the urge. Today after the party I cracked this one out, having fun with it!


5. Science at home.

We've all been enjoying my role as a science teacher at school this yea. The kids love the experiments I've been bringing home like the Surface tension experiment, the fossil making, and the crystal stars. These last two are planned for these holidays. Hopefully I'll get some hood pictures :)

6. Preschool at home.

Gabby and I have started a little preschool program at home. She's not terribly keen on it but I'm following Susan Wise Bauer's advice that given a choice most children wouldn't actually choose to sit down and learn but if you can coax them into it a little bit each day, the learning will come. Am loving her book 'The Well Trained Mind.'
 Basic alphabet and sound recognition is our first step but she's also keen to try writing. Her favourite activity is an alphabet app on the iPad, but I try and encourage more hands on stuff at this stage.

7. Orpheus gets a facelift.

This should come as no surprise; this book has had more face lifts than Joan Rivers, but I'm really happy with the way it is going at the moment. I think I may even do a 7 quick takes next week just on Orpheus so that I have in writing what I'm planning and why I like this version so much. Just in case I forget again :)

catching up

The year has taken off again, and after having just celebrated the Captain's 40th birthday - happy birthday my love, I I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow - I thought I had better recap and catch up.
Here's where we have been in pictures




 Fossicking and digging at a friend's birthday party.

The Captain's famous churros con chocolate!!

And mama's bread :)



Pretty toes!



And now we welcome a few old friends back to the garden, and count down the days til spring (28!)

return of the mac

It's been a long time since I posted on here, almost a year. I'm not sure what kept me away but after browsing through some old posts it was the great collection of memories that I have here that has brought me back.

The year has been a busy one. First year of kindergarten has finished, leaving us with a very curious and fun boy who has learnt how to read and is currently devouring such books as The Cat in the Hat and the Tashi series. It's amazing and the Captain and I look at each other as we spy on him in bed at night with his torch and his book and we just smile. A love for books is inherent in both of us and it is definitely something we love to see passed on to our kids.

Our boy also gave us quite a scare toward the end of last year when he slipped off the monkey bars and broke his arm. Although both his ulna and radius were broken the healing was relatively quick and the cast was off in five weeks -  just in time for Christmas!!

The girls have had a fun year at home playing together, and with the coming of October we said goodbye to our baby and hello to our one year old. Although we can only just call her toddler now as she's just starting pull herself up and 'toddle' around the furniture. She's going through a bit of cranky and clingy stage, but she seems to get like this when she's undergoing big developmental changes. She's incredibly expressive and often has us all in stitches with her facial expressions and antics. Definitely an entertainer!

Gaby is looking forward to starting at play school one day a week this year. With that and swimming and playgroup she will certainly be busy! She has been such a mum's helper this year, helping me with cooking, cleaning, looking after the baby and just generally being by my side most of the time. That said, she has also been enjoying some really great independent role play games, mums and dads being a favourite :)

I returned to work late last year and after a lovely six week holiday the Captain and I will both be heading back to work next week. I'm working in a lovely ESL faculty for two days a week and I'm really looking forward to it.

We have suffered through a real heat wave this summer yet we've managed to get out and do some great things.
Highlights include: the Sydney aqaurium, watching the New Year's Eve fireworks from Pa and Julie's balcony, swimming at the pool, at the river and splashing in the sprinkler in the backyard. Our grass is well and truly dead but the Captain has lovingly tended to the vegie garden and we're now enjoying lettuce and tomatoes. The grapes and apples are covered to stop the birds from eating them and the corn has shot right up!! Lemon, orange and grapefruit trees are all heavy with fruit. There is something really satisfying about growing your own fruit and vegies :)

As mentioned Gaby and I have been having fun in the kitchen, Irish Barm Brack in the bread maker is a weekly staply, delicious with butter for breakfast.

We also made this creation for Tess's first birthday, which unfortunately caused her to break out :(

And this delicious carrot cake for her Baptism.

 Last winter we even got up the mountain to see some snow. We also saw this specatcular cutie!!!

 

 A baby hadrosauraus from Katie and The Dinosaurs made an appearance for Book Week. I couldn't believe how easy it was to make this costume! And without the tail (which is simply pinned on) the jacket is still being worn!!

A visit from the fire brigage at playgroup saw this little cutie climb into a fire engine for the first time. She was quite apprehensive about is and when I learnt that she was worried that they were going to drive off with her I could understand why!!

In October we lost my grandfather, a wonderful man who lived to the ripe age of 86. It was a hard loss for all of us, and the kids especially had a hard time understanding it. My mum and my gran seem to be doing well now, despite their loss. Christmas was a tough time without him and his ubiquitous cap, but we felt his spirit there with us.

A very busy year with ups and downs and I'm not really sure what this year is going to bring, especially as I face some of my own health challenges but my spirits are high and I realise how lucky and blessed I am to have this life.

I guess that's worth recording after all :)

hands

"my hands are small I know, but they're not yours they are my own..."
From Hands, Jewel

Holding on.

Reaching.

Exploring.

Grabbing.

Letting go.

Touching.

Experiencing.

Muddy.

Creating.

Rubbing.

autumn: as the leaves turn

"For me the most accurate comment on motherhood is that it makes your life twice as bad and twice as good. There is suffering and unsatisfactoriness, but love saves us."
                                                Sarah Napthali Buddhim for Mothers


Autumn has well and truly set in around here and it's not only the positive side of this glorious season that we are experiencing at the moment. Colds and aches have set in.

My six month old baby Tess is back to cat napping throughout the day and wanting to be fed every two hours during the day, three hours at night. Poor little thing is struggling, but then so is her  mother trying to give her everything she needs whilst still have reserves left over for the other three members of the family (not to mention herself :)

Recently we found out that my (soon to be three year old) daughter needs to have her tonsils and adenoids removed. 'Enormous' was how the specialist termed them. When I spoke with my sister-in-law about this, whose own son underwent the same operation many moons ago, she warned me of the way little eyes roll back in their heads and mouths drop open as they go under the anaesthetic. This image was almost enough to have me running to the phone to cancel the operation. Then I remembered the infections and the constant courses of antibiotics that have wracked my poor daughter's body this year alone. I only recently found out when we saw the Eand T specialist the function of the adenoids and tonsils. Apparently they are part of our immune system but when they are 'enormous' as Gaby's are then they become a burden on the immune system. Which is why her body has been unable to fight off the constant infections. So in the long run I know this operation will be the best thing for her. Doesn't mean I don't wish it wasn't necessary. For a child that suffers almost constantly from an internal itch (not to mention the allergies that we do know she has - egg, dairy and peanut) I would do almost anything to alleviate her pain and make her comfortable. I don't know if this operation will help with her scratching but I hope it will. I visited the health food shop and found some immune-boosting tonic (in the form of a German-made juice concoction) for the kids and some echinacea immune boosting vitamins for myself and the Captain. We may be a bit late but I figure it's still worth a try.

Yesterday after a tanturm that involved some serious screaming and body throwing insisitng that she wasn't tired, Gaby then went on to sleep for more than two hours. Bed time was barely affected by this as I am sure we are all suffering from near exhaustion.

Our citrus trees are starting to fruit but they are still quite green. I can't wait for the lemons to ripen as I am in dire need of honey and lemon teas at the moment. My own throat is raw and scratchy, my neck is stiff and sore and the fact that I spend half the night falling asleep in the rocking chair nursing my baby doesn't seem to help.

This first term of school has certainly been a trying one for us all. For a family that had very little in the way of daily stresses we are now tiring under the pressure of getting everyone up and out everyday. And as much as I want to lament those lost days of being at home all day everyday I have to remember that this is simply a new stage, one that is good but that just needs some getting used to. I have lots of time with Gaby throughout the day, learning about her and what she likes to do without being under Nico's shadow. Nico is starting to show signs of missing me, missing our time together as the novelty of kindergarten is starting to wear off.  I make sure we have time for special catch up's each day - practising letters, reading library books from school, colouring in, or reading Enid Blyton's enchanting The Enchanted Wood before bed. There are cuddles and despite the weariness I am constantly reminding myself to smile.

"It also helps enormously to smile as often as possible, especially when you catch yourself worrying." Sarah Napthali, Buddhism for Mothers. For me it's not just when I'm worrying; I make a conscious effort to smile when I'm angry, irritated, frustrated or impatient. Sometimes I manage a big Cheshire-cat grin, others it's merely a Mona-Lisa type smirk. Either seem to help with my overall mood in the moment.

 

 

Autumn brings with it,however, other wonders - a time of staying indoors, preparing for the winter season so to speak. Nico with his love of animals is constantly asking which animals like this sort of weather. We discuss animals such as squirrels and rabbits, bilbies and bandicoots, small marsupials that like to collect their food before the cold sets in. Then we talk about America and Europe where they have such cold winters that no food is to be found on the ground. In the kitchen we make nourishing food like pumpkin soup, roast lamb and Anzac biscuits. The end of the heat of summer heralds a wonderful time of cooking in our house and it is something that I am starting to enjoy more now with Gaby, now that Nico is at school everyday. Just another change in the circle of life. 

So, yes, there is suffering and unsatisfactoriness, especially when illness sets in, but there is still a lot of love and everyday my children teach me more and more about love than I ever thought possible and that is most surely a blessing.

Note: the first two flower photos are taken by lovely sister-in-law.

the spirit of easter

Easter has arrived once again, and I have to wonder where has this last year gone? It also makes me wonder about this time, Easter. We all know that Easter is celebrated as the resurrection of Christ, taking its timing from pagan Spring festivals. But what about those of us in the Southern Hemisphere where Easter coincides not with Spring but with the advent of Autumn? The whole 'new life' metaphor is a bit lost on us down here. So, if chocolate isn't really your thing and Christ's resurrection is a story you don't believe in, what then, would Easter mean for you?

For some people Easter is a lovely chance to have four days off work and get lots of odd jobs done around the house in preparation for Winter (or Summer - depending where you are). The leaves are definitely starting to change colour around here so instead of welcoming the 'new life' we are saying goodbye to summer and hello to beautiful autumn. So, yes in the garden there are lots of things that could be done this weekend. There is also the fact that here in Canberra the change in seasons is so distinct, so it is an especially beautiful time to be outdoors, with cooler days and the gorgeous colours of the turning trees.

As it is also the end of the nice weather a lot of people (from Canberra in particular) head off to the coast to soak up the last few rays before the cold weather sets in. Four days is more than enough time to get away and have a 'mini break' as Bridget Jones would say.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that there are plenty of things to do with the free 'time' that is given to us around Easter, but is there something else, something spiritual we can do, even if we're not religious? In our house we did attend Easter mass but there are many who don't. And I'm not saying that we're more spiritually aware than others simply because we did go to Mass, certainly not. What I am trying to say (rather ineloquently I'm afraid) is has the spirit of Easter touched you this year? We have also been lucky to enjoy delicious meals with both friends and family (and seeing more friends again today).

Have you met with friends and family and enjoyed a nice meal?
Have you slowed down and given consideration to the changing of the seasons, the concept of things dying (or in the garden going into winter hibernation) and the joy of knowing that in a few months they will be coming back to life?
Have you recognised the value of life? How important it is to tell people that you love them, to forgive past hurts and to look forward to the future with a heart and soul unburdened by hate, anger and fear?
Have you hunted for easter eggs in the garden and enjoyed little kids laughing and giggling and tripping over gumboots as they followed big footprints through the still damp grass?
Have you told someone that you love them?
Maybe, maybe not.



But instead of just looking at Easter as an annual long weekend, why not spend some time reflecting on the things that really matter. Just a suggestion. It won't change the world, but imagine if everyone did this, regardless of their religious beliefs. Imagine if everyone recognised this opportunity to look at each other in a new light, as brothers and sisters, as all doing our bit to make this world a good one. I think it could be pretty powerful. The spirit of Easter should be about forgiveness, not punishment, about hope not fear. About love. And hope, love and forgiveness are three things that our world could surely use at the moment. So why not start at home?

Whatever you have done this Easter, and whatever you may believe, I wish you all a very Happy Easter!

going back

There is a saying that you can never go back again. As a historian and as a writer I whole-heartedly disagree. The beauty of living in the world that we live in today is that we can go back. Whether we want to stroll down memory lane with school pals on Facebook, or research into a past complete with pictures, documentaries via Youtube, university notes and online books, or even shut the computer and go back to writing a letter. With pen and paper. In fact there is very little these days that is stopping us from going back.

I am particularly comforted by this fact at the moment. My 85 year old grandfather is quite sick. He has recently had a couple of falls which have resulted in a broken shoulder (now healed) and a broken hip (operated on but which has left him weak and unable to walk). He is in a public hospital undergoing serious rehabilitation.

I always had a very close relationship with my grandfather, who was born on the Greek island of Syros. Growing up I adored him and loved that fact that he came from somewhere so exotic. I memorised the Greek words and numbers that he would teach me and my sisters and I held tightly to his promises that one day he would take me back there with him. We never got there but the stories certainly remained with me.

They promised them a working paradise, they delivered hell.

One hot, summer day when the Captain and I were driving back home from a trip to Wollongong a new idea for a story came to me. One that revolved around his life. When he was barely eighteen his island was attacked by Nazis and he ended up in a ball-bearings factory in Austria. After the war ended he, like so many other displaced young men, joined the French Foreign Legion. After fighting in Vietnam he finally caught a boat to Australia where he jumped shipped and lived as an illegal immigrant before finally becoming an Australian citizen.

I love my grandfather and I love his story. A couple of years ago I sat down with him and got as many details as I could from him, writing them all down on scraps of paper that came to hand. I collated them all and brought them home to put together in my story. It is these scraps that led to the development of the character Tommaso in Pepper Ridge Lane.

Then I went back to work, had another baby, got re-focused on writing Orpheus and poor old Pepper Ridge got put in the dusty folder on my desktop. After speaking with my grandmother this morning and hearing the mixed news about my grandfather's transfer to a much nicer hosptial with better rehab facilities, and the fact that he has lost ten kilos because he isn't eating I felt the need to be close to him again. So I opened Pepper Ridge Lane. The file told me that it had been almost a year.

And as I read over it again I remembered just how much I loved it. I realise now that it is because it is real to me. I can picture Tommaso, just as I can picture the black and white photo of my handsome grandfather, twenty one years of age in his FFL uniform, one of my favourite photos of all time. I know Tommaso' story, because my grandfather already told it to me. Sure, there are fictional elements, quite a few that I've added in actually (Tommaso is Italian after all), but the bones, the heart of it are real. I've just fleshed it out with make believe.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I am so grateful that I was able to get the story from my grandfather when he was well (he is now also suffering from dementia and according to my mum gets quite confused and muddled at times) and that I can write it down. That day when we were talking and I was taking notes he pointed at my papers and asked me what I was going to do with it. I told him I was writing it down in a story. And he smiled. I think he would really like the story. Although not as much as I am enjoying writing it.

Monster Madness

We have entered into a whole new phase of our simple, quiet life around here. That of kindergarten. My son has started school which means that I am now on drop off and pick up duty.

Everyday.

This is really big for someone who never really had to be anywhere at anytime. And I must say I'm having a little trouble adjusting to it :)

My son, on the other hand, is having a wonderful time at school. He's making new friends (so now he doesn't have to play with the girls that he already knew from pre-school :) and really seems to like and respect his teacher. That's all a parent can ask for really. And it's okay with me if he wants me to stay there until their morning assembly is over and they are on their way to the classroom. It kind of helps me in a way too. And it makes navigating the very small carpark easier too. I have to think about these things now.

February also heralded another important milestone in my son's life. He turned five. Now I must admit I may have gone a bit overboard with the preparations for this party, but when he requested a monster theme I just couldn't help myself.

I started researching it on the internet. 

And then I set up a board on pinterest, which sort of nudged me along a bit further.

And a bit further.

Until...well see for yourself.

 

There were rock monsters. Hand painted by the kids, myself and my mother in law. We had lots of fun with these guys! They were hidden in the garden and were part of a treasure hunt!

 Face painting. Myself and my son in deep concentration :)

Monsters in slime, which were part of the kids' party bags to take home with them. There was also a giant bucket for the kids to dig for eyeballs at the party. My thirteen year old nephew set the tone by eyeball diving with his mouth. Full face of slime later and no pictures to show for it!!

 Monster sandwiches. Fairly self-explanatory :)

The outdoor scene.

Little girls in monster masks.

 

 Homemade monster party bags with containers of slime.

Monster cupcakes made by my sister and I (amidst much hildarity the night  before the party).

And the piece de resistance...

Complete with apple peel spew. What more does a five year old boy's birthday party need??

So I'm happy to say that I had no original ideas for this party, but thanks to pinterest who needs an original idea these days??? But it was still a lot of work and planning for a great day. The fact that it reached 36 degrees right at the peak of the party only added to our sweaty, monster fun.

The friends and family who could be there (sadly there was a family emergency on the day which kept my mum and grandparents away ) made it extra special and I am so grateful for everyone's help. To my sister who kept me sane and helped with cupcakes and face painting (and was also the willing guinea pig the night before for the face design :) you are always welcome in our house Mich.

And to my sister and brother in law who arrived with their wonderful children and slipped into the sandwich-production line like a champ. Not to mention their continual support/help and baby sitting duties for the entire weekend. We loved having you guys camped out in the backyard :)

My mother in law, despite her husband being hospitalised the day before still managed to turn up with a delicious tortilla in hand. And then, my father in law arrived for a small visit, bandages and all.

My dad and his partner and my other sister and her family travelled down on the day, again some in states of post-operation and others in states of confinement :) Yet I am so glad that they all came and shared this special day with my son. I think this may be the one that he remembers when he gets older.

I know the Captain and I will never forget it. Now we are looking forward to the fairy party that is being forcefully wistfully requested for our soon-to-be three year old girl. Off to pinterest I go.....

national zoo and aquarium

 Our trip to the National Zoo and Aquarium for the first time a couple of weeks was an exciting one. The day wasn't too warm and we started out early (the zoo opens at 10am). I think we were really lucky because so many of the animals were awake and out and about doing their things, so we got some great sites!!

My son is a big animal fan, animals of all kinds are constantly migrating around our rumpus and living room floors. Everything from dinos to fruit bats to elephant herds. So going to the zoo was a great experience for him because he was able to see a lot of these animals in real life. It's hard to appreciate just how big a giraffe is in a book :)

The lions were also very exciting, but then so were the wombats, the fairy penguins and the peacocks! The kids loved them all!!

Here's a quick who's who of who made an appearance on the day we were there:

There were the Australians (of course!!)

 

Can't say I liked this guy much - I don't particularly like birds, and this emu was especially big! And he and his mate just wandered about us. The kangaroos were in the same enclosure and we were able to walk amongst them. Not my cup of tea :)

 

 Then was the African contingent. A big hit. Especially the zebra. Why? Because of their stripy bottoms of course!!

 

 

 The puma, which is actually the same as the cougar. Did not know that :)

The majestic snow leopard. Loved these guys.

And finally some reptiles in the aquarium. There were also fish, sharks, eels, starfish and anemones, turtles, frogs and iguanas in there but those pics didn't turn out so well!!

 

 All in all we had a great day and will be buying an annual pass so we can enjoy it again in the future. 

If you want more info check out their site.